Tuesday, May 9, 2017

Living With Anxiety

Hey ya'll! We had a great weekend over here. We had dinner with friends Friday night and went to a fun Derby party Saturday. Unfortunately I took zero pictures at both events. We also had family pictures on Saturday morning, they went exactly as family pictures go. Graham screamed 98% of the time but I'm hopeful we got a few good ones!

I mentioned last week that I feel like I'm in a blogging slump. I can't seem to figure out what I want to share and I don't want to share mindless things. Which leads me to todays post...

I really enjoy reading about "real life" when it comes to blogs. So today I am keeping it totally real for y'all. I'm going to talk about anxiety! It's one of my biggest struggles and something that I deal with day in and day out.

I feel like anxiety is something that so many have but it's not talked about a lot. My anxiety started back with my melanoma diagnosis.  I have always been an anxious person but I don't remember ever letting it take over and cause crippling fear inside me like it did the summer I was diagnosed. I remember being so worried about every little thing. I couldn't focus on anything and felt like I was just going through the emotions day in and out. I was up in Michigan at my parents lake house and I remember finally breaking down to them that I hadn't been sleeping and I was just so worried. I'll never forget how sweet they were and understanding. They got me in with a local doctor who started me on anxiety meds.

Since that day I have been on and off anxiety meds. They really do help and I fully believe in them! However, I do not love taking medicine. After I had Jack I had terrible baby blues and was back on something. Wanting to get off of meds I decided to go to therapy to learn some tools to deal with my panic attacks/daily anxiety. It helped so much. Although it's definitely not something that I practice daily, even though I know I should.

There are so many things that can trigger anxiety, if you are an anxious person you definitely know what I'm talking about. Everyone has that "one thing" that gets them. Mine happens to be medical related. I am a major hypochondriac. I can jump to the worst conclusion at the drop of a hat. When I'm feeling good, my anxiety is always really low. Its not something I will think about. But at the first sign of something feeling "off" in my body my mind starts working in over time and it's literally all I can think about. Can anyone relate to this? It's a terrible feeling, and unless you go through the same it's ridiculous. My mom is not a worrier and she can't understand why I always feel this way. I can' explain it but I can tell you that it's not fun!

I pray that neither one of my boys experience anxiety. It's a daily struggle for me but one that I realize I have and that I can work on!

My point of this post is that you never know what someone is dealing with on the inside. Unless you are a close friend of mine you probably would never now that I have this constant struggle. I can do a really good job of keeping it on the inside. You would never know that if I'm having an anxiety attack that 90% of my thoughts are focused on that.

Now I'm going to leave you with these funny and very true memes!! Thanks for letting me share not only my highs but also my lows on this blog! I always want to keep it real with you and hope that someone can relate to me on this!

this next one is me and so so funny to me! I really laughed out loud when I read it!

*Linking up with Beth


  1. Thank you for being real and opening up! I didn't have anxiety until my boys were born, and since then it's been pretty present (especially after Knox was born and I was diagnosed with post-partum anxiety). It's definitely rough and sometimes can be scary, but I'm so thankful you shared this so others who may be feeling the same way can relate and maybe even get the help they need.

  2. I never really had an issue with anxiety till I became a Mom. I often struggle with constant worry about losing Connor. I don't know why, I have no real reason to be concerned but my dang mind play tricks on me.

  3. As someone who has struggled with anxiety my whole life, I can say that those memes are SPOT ON!

  4. Oh man this hits home with me. I have some major anxiety as well. It is hard not to over worry about everything. Especially medical things. I always think the worst and it is a hard habit to break.

  5. Thanks for sharing this today! My anxiety is just as you described and all medical related, but it takes hold and becomes a struggle in all areas of my life. I had a unusual medical scare years ago and my carotid artery dissected from throwing up after getting a stomach virus that my 2 kiddos had. I was fortunate and caught it because of some minor vision issues before a stroke could happen. I am so grateful to God for being present with me through Everything and I feel so defeated when I don't allow my faith to carry me through. I too have been to counseling and that has helped me so much! I had a lot of worry/fear about taking medication but realized that it's what I needed to do. I just came to the realization that I want to be present in life and not let worry and fear rob me of joy. I understand what you mean by, it's all you can think of because there are times when any little thing I feel in my body that's different causes me to go in overdrive with worry. Sometimes I just have to get on my knees and pray for God to fill me so I can rest in Him. Then I praise, praise, praise Him and let gratitude be my thoughts. I'm so thankful for others, like you that share your story!

  6. OMG the last meme! That is SO me. And I totally feel you. EVen though I am a constant worrier, most days my anxiety is relatively low. However, lately there have been lots of different things that have started triggering major anxiety and I don't know how to stop it. I had to go to a friend's mom's funeral about a year ago and that day I felt awful all day long leading up to it. I was shaking, feeling super nauseated, had an upset stomach, and felt extremely panicky all day leading up to it. Then during the funeral I almost passed out a few times and I was freaking out because I was worried that I might get sick during the ceremony. Literally the second we walked out the door after it was over, I felt 100% fine. It's like my body subconciously got in a tizzy knowing what was coming or something. And it's been happening more and more this last year, too. It's just awful. I recently bought an essential oil that can supposedly help if you smell it while having a panic attack. I haven't had to use it yet, and I'm praying I never have to. Thank you for sharing this today.

  7. I'm so sorry you deal with anxiety! I haven't, but know people that do and I also know it can be hard for people to explain or relate on. I am glad you seem to have a way to manage/cope with it-I think that is a huge thing!

  8. Thanks for sharing with us here. I have anxiety issues too.

  9. Thank you so much for opening up and sharing your struggle. I have gone a few rounds with anxiety too. It is just such a wicked web that swallows you up so fast.

  10. I love your honesty and how you always keep it real in this space! I 100% understand how you feel. I have been on SSRI's since undergrad. I came off them during the IVF process but then started them back about halfway through my pregnancy because my doctor said they were totally safe and I wanted to prevent PPD. I am totally for medications to help, shoot they have saved my life! I am SUCH a worrier and stress over every single thing. My husband does not understand because he is SO laid back so my meds help me be much easier to live with haha