Finding Grace in Motherhood

I'm coming at you today with something that was laid on my heart last week. I was reading this book that sweet Owen recommend and I came across this passage. It brought me to tears.

Then I was doing my usual facebooking and in one of the many mom support groups I'm in a girlfriend from college commented about trying to get her baby girl to sleep and on a schedule. We began to message back and fourth. She is a new mama to a precious 8 week old baby girl, I feel like I'm somewhat seasoned as a mama of two who has been where she was. I so desperately wanted my boys (Graham especially) to get on a schedule. I was crazy and neurotic about it. I would get so upset when Graham wouldn't nap in his crib, or wouldn't follow the schedule that was provided for me in this one book. And ya'll, guess what.. He is a great sleeper now. He STTN and consistently takes a 3 hour nap daily. And you know what, he would have learned that regardless of if I had held him for every nap he took when he was an infant.

So as I began talking to my sweet friend I came to realize that we as mothers have got to give ourselves some grace!! Here I sit with an almost 2 year old and an almost 4 year old. I no longer have any babies in my house. And the reality is, while I would love a third that may never happen. I missed out on all the snuggling and the holding because I was adamant about a schedule. I craved that routine and needed just a few minutes to myself. And now, now I miss it! I hold Graham as we rock before bedtime and he no longer lays across my body, He rests his head on my shoulder. Jack is so big that I can hardly carry him without getting out of breath. My boys are growing up, and while I love it, it's so fun, I desperately miss them as babies.

For all your sweet new mamas desperately wanting a schedule, or for your babe to sleep all night and nap in their crib. Don't for one second let someone tell you that you are spoiling them if you hold them. Don't for one second think that it will be impossible to get them sleeping in their own crib if you hold them for every nap when they are a newborn. Its just not true. Give those babies all the snuggles and love you can because soon enough you will blink and your sweet little red headed boys will now be walking talking toddlers and growing out of the "little kid" size shoes.

And I too need to take this advice, many of you know Jack has had some sleep issues pretty much since Graham was born. He gets in our bed 99% of the nights. And while I desperately long to have him sleep all night in his bed, the reality is, one day soon he will want to sleep in my bed for the last time. And that will be it, he will never want to snuggle with me at night again. So I too am trying to give myself grace!

This mom-ing thing is hard y'all! Every stage has its ups and downs, and every stage makes you question your ability to parent. But as long as we are giving these babies the love that they so deserve they will turn out a-okay in the end!

*Linking up with Beth and Erika