Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Finding Grace in Motherhood


I'm coming at you today with something that was laid on my heart last week. I was reading this book that sweet Owen recommend and I came across this passage. It brought me to tears.



Then I was doing my usual facebooking and in one of the many mom support groups I'm in a girlfriend from college commented about trying to get her baby girl to sleep and on a schedule. We began to message back and fourth. She is a new mama to a precious 8 week old baby girl, I feel like I'm somewhat seasoned as a mama of two who has been where she was. I so desperately wanted my boys (Graham especially) to get on a schedule. I was crazy and neurotic about it. I would get so upset when Graham wouldn't nap in his crib, or wouldn't follow the schedule that was provided for me in this one book. And ya'll, guess what.. He is a great sleeper now. He STTN and consistently takes a 3 hour nap daily. And you know what, he would have learned that regardless of if I had held him for every nap he took when he was an infant.

So as I began talking to my sweet friend I came to realize that we as mothers have got to give ourselves some grace!! Here I sit with an almost 2 year old and an almost 4 year old. I no longer have any babies in my house. And the reality is, while I would love a third that may never happen. I missed out on all the snuggling and the holding because I was adamant about a schedule. I craved that routine and needed just a few minutes to myself. And now, now I miss it! I hold Graham as we rock before bedtime and he no longer lays across my body, He rests his head on my shoulder. Jack is so big that I can hardly carry him without getting out of breath. My boys are growing up, and while I love it, it's so fun, I desperately miss them as babies.

For all your sweet new mamas desperately wanting a schedule, or for your babe to sleep all night and nap in their crib. Don't for one second let someone tell you that you are spoiling them if you hold them. Don't for one second think that it will be impossible to get them sleeping in their own crib if you hold them for every nap when they are a newborn. Its just not true. Give those babies all the snuggles and love you can because soon enough you will blink and your sweet little red headed boys will now be walking talking toddlers and growing out of the "little kid" size shoes.

And I too need to take this advice, many of you know Jack has had some sleep issues pretty much since Graham was born. He gets in our bed 99% of the nights. And while I desperately long to have him sleep all night in his bed, the reality is, one day soon he will want to sleep in my bed for the last time. And that will be it, he will never want to snuggle with me at night again. So I too am trying to give myself grace!

This mom-ing thing is hard y'all! Every stage has its ups and downs, and every stage makes you question your ability to parent. But as long as we are giving these babies the love that they so deserve they will turn out a-okay in the end!

*Linking up with Beth and Erika 

15 comments:

  1. Amen to all of this! I got teary reading that about rocking Graham to sleep and not being able to hold Jack without getting out of breath; it's the same over here. I was rocking Knox last night and the tops of his feet were hitting my knees almost and his sweet head was just laying on my shoulder, and I thought how it feels like just yesterday that I was doing this very thing with Walker, and now he barely even lets me hold him. It's so true what they say: "The days are long, but the years are short."

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  2. Gosh all of this yes. Just recently it has been making me so sad how fast time is passing. One of my best friends just had a baby and seeing all her newborn snuggles makes me so sad. While every stage has been so fun, I desperately miss those newborn days. I feel like I'm going to blink and she's going to be off to kindergarten and not needing me anymore :(

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  3. YES! Sometimes I wish I could go back and change the way I did things and snuggle my girls a bit more and just be more relaxed about everything. But every season has had its good parts and has grown a little sweeter for me along the way. Even if they don't need me the way they used to. Thanks for sharing your heart.

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  4. I agree with you. It flies by, and we can make each day even more sweet by accepting where we are in the moment. xoxo God bless

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  5. While I am not a mom, I can totally appreciate this! Sometimes you just think if you can get to this point in certain things, or get past a certain thing, things will be good. But then you miss all of what is actually going on and in a way take for granted the time that is passing. In the end, the majority of things will be, like you said, a-okay. :)

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  6. Oh yes. I do miss the cuddles, snuggles and I wish I wouldn't wish these phases away. I do feel like I am sinking at times and I wish I would give myself some grace through it all. Great advice to your friend.

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  7. Yes to all of this! After I had Olivia I knew that she was likely going to be our last little baby so I learned to soak up the moments more. I regret that I didn't do that enough with Jacob. I, like you, was always worried about getting him on a schedule.

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  8. There are things that cross my mind that make me wish I would have done things a different way but I also know, thanks to looking back, that I've done the very best as a first time of Mom. We had no clue what we were doing so we simply did our best and took it all in stride. Oh and yes... with a huge dose of grace.

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  9. This is so true! It really does fly by so quickly. I wished so many things away, and now I miss them so much!

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  10. Yes yes yes! I am constantly finding things I wish I'd done differently, but then I have to stop and remind myself that I'm doing a great job and the kids are happy. Being a mom is tough, but when we have great people to remind us to give grace we can relax a little bit more.

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  11. Thank you for this! I needed to hear this ❤

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  12. Grace is so important. I really needed to hear this today! Thank you so much!

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  13. This is so true and is really such a constant thing we need to remember during hard seasons-they may be hard but they really are the best days!

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  14. Love this! I keep telling myself that the days are long, but the years are short. So soak up as much as possible because before long they won't need or want their mama as much.

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