How Do You Know When Your Family Is Complete?

Hey ya'll! Today I am getting personal and pretty raw with you. I have had this drafted in the notes section of my phone for the past month and I have not had time, or the want to sit down and write this out. I feel like this is such an easy question to answer for some and for others its so much more complex.

When you first get married people start asking when you're going to have a baby. When you have your first you immediately get asked, "when are you going to go for number 2" and then you have two of the same gender, boys in my case, and you get asked on the regular "when are you going to try for that girl?" which to me, all of the above questions are so rude and none of anyones business!!

So to answer the question "how do you know when your family is complete?" simply put...I don't know! Prior to having kids if you would have asked me how many kids I wanted I would have said without a doubt 3 or 4. And frankly that answer did not change until very recently. This topic of conversation has been one of the biggest sources of disagreement in our marriage. Patrick is happy and complete with our two perfect boys. He has no desire to have another baby and would happily sell every baby item we have in the attic tomorrow if I said so.

I on the other hand have not felt that sense of closure and finality. I've always said that Grahams birth was so quick and unexpected I don't think I ever fully had time to think "Gosh, this could be my last baby". Life is quickly growing easier and easier with each passing day so for me, the thought of going back to sleepless nights, sleep training, endless years of diapers and that general hard baby stage doesn't exactly sound like a piece of cake to me.

To be completely honest, if we had a boy and a girl I think I could say "we are done!" But when you have two of the same gender you always wonder "what if" My girlfriend and I, who also happens to have two boys who are my boys best friends, always say that if we could guarantee that our third would be a girl and we wouldn't be sick during pregnancy we would go for it. But knowing both of us, we would end up with a third boy! Which of course would be so fun, but man I'm not sure this mama can handle 3 boys!

As the days become easier and easier and we get further away from that baby stage I am beginning to feel content. I love my boys and they are wild and trying and keep me on my toes but raising them in the greatest joy in my life. Of course there is a part of me that will always long for a girl. That mother/daughter bond is like none other. I also would be lying if I didn't say that the thought of my boys not needing me anymore, not wanting to hold my hand or kiss my cheeks or sit next to me puts a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. But I am beginning to believe that our family, our sweet little family of four is complete. I believe that there will always be a part of me that wants more babies, I loved each pregnancy and the thought of not experiencing that again makes me sad but there is so much joy in the days and years ahead of raising 2 boys.

So while the answer is very clear for some on if their family is complete, for me, it's not a straight yes or no. But for me, right now, on this day and in this month I feel good. I feel that my hands are full and my heart is even fuller and I'm okay with that!

I'd love to know if you had a clear yes or no to this answer or if you also felt like I do and wonder if you will ever truly know the answer.

*linking up with Owen